Doubt is uncomfortable, certainty is ridiculous. – Voltaire
I think it’s fairly safe to say that all of us on this list are, at times, plagued with doubts. I know I sure as hell am! Lots of nights, despite heavy medication, I stare at the ceiling thinking: Holy shit! What the hell are you doing? You’re not a good writer. You’ll never make a living out of it. You’re only nominally published and nominally paid. You’re not terribly great at freelance writing so that’s out. You really only write tiny niche things that are unlikely to ever make a ton of money. Are you self-publishing because you want to be Ani DiFranco or because you’re afraid to be rejected by every Pagan publisher?
Your spinning on your new spinning wheel is still a bit chunky and uneven. Your oils are still not perfect. You still haven’t made any Goddess Dollies and you’re not doing enough craft shows. It’s unlikely that you’ll ever be able to make a living crafting. By the time you can, your hands will likely be arthritic and you’ll be more useless than usual.
Are you going to be a nanny forever? What happens when the two babies you nanny for become toddlers and need even more attention? How long can you continue to get up at six a.m. twice a week? How long can you write during nap times? You’re getting more tired and less cheerful.
Should you go back to working in an office? But, then, there’s the politics. You hate office politics. And working in a cube? You double hate a cube! When will you make enough money to get ahead and really save for your retirement?
Why are you still fat? You keep eating because you’re stressed and you’ll never be skinny again.
What if this marriage to Jow doesn’t work out? It’s your second one and you thought you were right the first time and clearly you weren’t.
What you’re doing is stupid and pointless and by the way, you’re also not very good at it! Also what about —
STOP!! Just STOP!
We need to free ourselves from this horribly insidious, inner voice that wants us to never try, to never dare, to never dream, and to never step outside our little boxes. It sure as hell doesn’t want us to succeed, despite living inside us. It’s a really shitty team player because it tries to put
on its Concerned Face and tell us how it’s only looking out for us and doesn’t want us to be hurt or rejected.
This voice is a lying, lying liar! It’s not concerned! It just wants to be comfortable, even if you’re miserable right now. It doesn’t want you to change because change is hard and scary.
Comfortable misery (or status quo) is good enough for this voice.
Do you feel uncomfortable right now doing this Experiment? You should. That’s how you know you’re doing this right. That’s what’s riling up that annoying, horrible voice inside you to triple volume . You are freaking it out.
There are two approaches to dealing with this Horrible Voice (HV):
1. The HV is like a scared child inside you. It may be your scared child inside you (or Talking Self or Fred or whatever you want to call it). Regardless of its name, HV is bugging out right now because HV is terrified. You can try talking to HV and see if you can soothe HV or get HV to open up as to why HV is being such a colossal pain in the ass. You can explore how to get HV to stop.
2. HV is shitty energy you’ve collected from yourself and others. It’s time to get rid of it. This can be done by washing your hands with salt. (Wash towards the sink, away from your body.) As the salt washes down the drain, chant, “Seeds of doubt, I cast you out!” Or you could use a method of your own choosing to banish the negative energy.