Recipe Mondays: 30 Minute Puja Dinner

Predictably, Monday has rolled around and my exact thought is: Monday . . .fuuuuuuuuuuck . . .recipes . . .fuuuuuuuuuuck. My brain is barely working from Samhain, I’m tired, it’s cold. So guess what you’re eating? What I’m eating tonight. The first thing to note is that if you want to make Indian food using stuff you can easily get at a grocery store and quickly without much recipe research, you’re basically making Olive Garden for the gods. If your gods love you, this will not be a problem. It’s double not a problem if you work with Shiva (who generally hangs out in grave yards so He’s a little more chillaxed about this stuff) and Parvati (who, if you have a relationship with Her, will be too kind and polite to say anything about your shitty cooking. She has two sons, She knows how to put on Her Mom face and say, awww! You sure did try!). I’ve noticed that They prefer my shitty Indian cooking over my good Italian cooking because I think at least it’s more familiar to them.

Work on making this recipe together with your significant other and then offer it to Shiva and Parvati. Jow is an excellent sous chef and is v. good about taking my lead in the kitchen. I’m a v. shitty sous chef, I don’t chop well and I don’t take instruction in the kitchen well, but I’m good at coming up with recipes and leading the cooking. As a result, we work v. well together there and our food is ready quickly.

If you want to do a super quick puja (again, I recommend this only if you’re doing other stuff with Them too as this is really ghettotastic):

* Tell Ganesha he is a benevolent elephant and he’s awesome
* Light a tealight and thank Agni for the fire
* Ring a bell
* Put a tiny ramekin sized bit of food for Them on your altar
* Talk up the food like a waitress (I’ve said for a while that that’s what I want my magical title to be, Divine Waitress)
* Tell Them how awesome both of Them are
* Ask for Them to help you have a good relationship with your significant other (and again, that’s only if you work with Them and trust Them in this compacity. I do, They’ve been good to Jow and I)
* Ring bell again
* Eat dinner

Chicken Lentil Curry: Lazy American Style

Ingredients

1 can or box of lentil soup
2 chicken thighs, cut into pieces. Leave the skin on or take it off, it’s your business
2 small onions, chopped
2 teaspoons ghee or butter
2 tablespoons curry (or to taste)
1 tablespoon garam masala
1/4 teaspoon ground ginger
1/4 teaspoon cumin
1/4 teaspoon tumeric
1 pouch instant rice (take it out of the pouch to put into the soup)

Put butter into the pot and melt it on medium heat. Put the onions and chicken in and brown. Add in the the rest of the ingredients. Let cook for approximately 20 minutes.

Fin!

Deborah Castellano
Deborah Castellano's book Glamour Magic: The Witchcraft Revolution to Get What You Want is available for purchase through Amazon, Llewellyn and Barnes and Noble.
Her frequently updated catalogue of published work is available on Author Central.

She writes about Glamour Magic here at Charmed, I'm Sure. Her podcast appearances are available here.

Her craft shop, The Mermaid & The Crow specializes in old-world style workshop from 100% local, sustainable sources featuring tempting small batch ritual oils and hand-spun hand-dyed yarn in luxe fibers and more!

In a previous life, Deborah founded the first Neo-Victorian/Steampunk convention, SalonCon which received rave reviews from con-goers and interviews from the New York Times and MTV.

She resides in New Jersey with her husband, Jow and their cat, Max II. She has a terrible reality television habit she can't shake and likes St. Germain liquor, record players and typewriters.  

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5 Responses

  1. mmm dinner preview!

  2. Hee hee! I love meeting other people who work with Hindu deities too. Ganesha, you're an awesome, benevolent elephant dude. I think he'd appreciate it. 🙂

  3. I find it immensely cute that you two cook together as a team.

    This Monday recipe thing needs to turn into an online cooking show. 🙂

  4. K(Banterings of a Basketcase)

    I didg how you talk- it's nice to see people chatting up the Gods instead refering to them as thou and oh divine creator of all that is wonderous

  5. Miss Sugar

    @ Zedral – Our grove has done a mantra somewhat similiar to that effect and he seems to dig it 🙂

    @ Gordon – We should do an online cooking show, that would be fun. Something to consider!

    @ K – As the Rasputina song goes, "I ain't got much book learnin'/ but I've got charms to win the race." In certain ritual settings, I can get "high church" about things, but I'm not high church in my every day life. I drink, I occasionally smoke, I'm constantly running around like a crazed animal, my house is often unkempt, I get totally stressed out and I watch a lot of reality tv. There's only so much I can dress that up. ;p So I try to work with gods who are cool with that. I know, people keep telling me I'm v. real here and I'm like is that a polite way of saying "hot mess"?

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