Firstly, as you turn 34, you should finally metabolize the lesson that you need to eat if you want to drink booze. Stop mixing (and for the love of the goddess, stop drinking Alize and stop doing shots, even if they’re lovely lemon drop shots), stick to champagne only at a party, you can regulate that. Otherwise you’ll wind up in the bathroom with your sister putting tiny clips into your hair singing “Soft Kitty” to you as you vomit up foie gras. Not that this is a recent personal experience. Or, if it was, that it wouldn’t be *entirely* my fault as I was actually sick as well because I’m a nanny and it’s the season of plague and I’m passing it back and forth to my families I work for and my actual family.
Despite this, you’ll find enough time to take a bath and fuss over food and house arrangements and manage to look pretty great, even if you go to sleep with your makeup on. Sequins are a must along with sparkly jewelry and make up, as is your tiered cake stand even if it lists to the side like the Leaning Tower of Pisa until someone else puts it together. It can be hard to know what to wear at this age, I personally recommend LC’s line at Kohls which I’ve subtitled Lauren Conrad’s Line for Aging Skanks. Dana Buchman is good for Aspiring Cougars.
If you’re especially lucky, your husband will show you how much he loves you/knows you by buying you both this and this as well as this and this (to go with your bow from Christmas, pew! pew!), making you especially spoiled.
1. Tripoli Server, Crate and Barrel $49.50
2. Cara Spike Statement Necklace, Bloomingdales $98.00
3. LC Sequin Skirt, Kohls $32.40
4. Color No. 31 Fairy Princess Eyeshadow, Sephora $13.00
5. Goody Mini Hair Clips, Amazon $6.13
6. Sunny Side Bubble Bar, Lush USA $7.25