I’m so exhausted with incompetent people, I don’t know what to do anymore.

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There were bigger plans – the high life of verrrrrrrrry fancy Easton, PA which actually has a beautiful French restaurant and a lovely market full of local booze.  But it was cold, it was raining and I could barely get out the door to go to Yoga Wall so instead Jow and I went to a local place and then to look at books and to get cannolis.   He’s made his Sunday sauce for the weekend.  I was trying to nap but I’m a remedial napper at best.  So instead, a little trip to Stars Hollow and lying on my side this afternoon.

My tax season hives have manifested on my left shoulder blade this year, making it completely impossible for me to reach them.  I’ve been messing around with Moon Milk recipes, which I’ll be sharing soon.  I’m teaching myself macrame for A Secret Project, along with considering this month’s Limited Edition oil may be completely natural as I get requests for that semi-regularly.  Maybe.  I’m putting myself out there in ways I find uncomfortable but that discomfort is making me more prone to continuing to do things that scare me.  I’m trying to get back into the habit of writing to you though I have been inexplicably shy lately.  It’s only taken almost twenty years of blogging but it’s rattling around in there along with bigger blog ideas for when I’m not so tired.  Springing ahead, always messes with my internal clock.  I’ve also drank far more this weekend than I have since my birthday and it’s making me crunchy and self critical to go along with the extra sugar I’ve consumed.  That said, it helps me get back on track better when I see that the things I love don’t always love me back.

I’m eating vegetables at every meal, I’ve gotten fitness apps and more fitness equipment for home as well as to bring to the gym, I found yoga pants that I love.  I’m super self conscious about working out at the gym.  There are all these gorgeous youngs with teeny waists and huge asses.  To add insult to injury, they are hella polite, dress modestly and act like they have dignity.  The Somewhat Older on the other hand, like to treat the sauna as their personal telephone booth which is completely abhorrent to me in every way after years of Korean spas and soon I will snap at them.  Boys stare at me at the gym and I always think that it’s because I’m clunky while I’m learning to train alone and a little old and then I remember my boobs are reallllllly not something they are used to seeing in that environment which weirdly makes me feel better, as I stare at the gorgeous youngs myself because I’m not used to such tiny uncorseted (for the moment) waists and while not a young or particularly gorgeous in that specific environment, I know it’s impressive.

I hate my new yoga mat with a passion, it’s too slippery and smells horrible.  I think I’m going to bring it back and fight with them over it.  I shouldn’t have to worry about breaking my head (as my mom would say) in yoga.  There’s a local shop one of my teachers recommended and their mats are reasonably priced in case you are having the same problem.  They make the mats themselves I believe and I’m having mine shipped because who has time for anything right about now?  But I have a yoga bag now which I’m in love with because it makes me feel not clunky and it’s so easy to plop my mat in, along with a pocket for my keys and phone.  I wasn’t sure how Yoga Wall would go for me.  My friend Robbie is annoyingly bendy and flexible and thin, he took one look at the picture and said, well it will definitely build your core.  But I found getting upside down (and getting out) a lot easier than I thought it would be.  I’m still building my strength on and off the mat (hence the solo training) so that upside down will be actually restful.  The first time was not super restful because I was worried about getting out, the second time was semi restful and I could stay upside down a lot longer.  I really love that class because it’s all about modification and listening to your body and doing hard poses with modification.  There’s a lot of Ladies of a Certain Age in class and I find that incredibly heartening.  My favorite practices are Wall Yoga, Beginner’s Yoga and Bliss Yoga.  I like that Wall Yoga is challenging for me in an inspiring way and not in a I want to die way.

I’m loving season two of Mrs. Maisel.  The colors, the music, the banter.  I especially love Rose.  So elegant and glam.  She’s about fifteen years older than me and the way they dress her for the show gives me hope for myself as I age – sexy, glam and age appropriate.

I have fallen in love with Six, for obvious reasons.  A few of my Sister Queens have said that they feel like someone reached into my head and wrote a musical for me.  Part of why I fought so hard to keep the Queens in Glamour Magic is because I feel like there’s something so inherently relatable about them and so intrinsic to glamour because they didn’t get where they got just by being pretty.  I love the voices that Six gave each Queen, the songs are so perfect.  So, real talk here.  I’m so socially anxious as you know.  Like so socially anxious.  When I was asked to speak at The Magickal Women’s Conference, of course I said yes.  But I was a bit worried I wouldn’t stick the landing.  My body likes to do this whole, oh maybe you’re dying! thing when there’s social anxieties.  But I got a ticket to see Six so whether I have bubonic hives or whatever, I’m going because what an opportunity.

So, this has been what I’ve been up to.  And now for reasons only known to the ants, we have ants in the bathroom and I am going to go kill them all with fire because as you know, my life is 24/7 glamour.

 

 

 

 

 

Deborah Castellano
Deborah Castellano's book Glamour Magic: The Witchcraft Revolution to Get What You Want is available for purchase through Amazon, Llewellyn and Barnes and Noble.
Her frequently updated catalogue of published work is available on Author Central.

She writes about Glamour Magic here at Charmed, I'm Sure. Her podcast appearances are available here.

Her craft shop, The Mermaid & The Crow specializes in old-world style workshop from 100% local, sustainable sources featuring tempting small batch ritual oils and hand-spun hand-dyed yarn in luxe fibers and more!

In a previous life, Deborah founded the first Neo-Victorian/Steampunk convention, SalonCon which received rave reviews from con-goers and interviews from the New York Times and MTV.

She resides in New Jersey with her husband, Jow and their cat, Max II. She has a terrible reality television habit she can't shake and likes St. Germain liquor, record players and typewriters.  

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