Battling Burn Out

All I want to do right now is scroll through Facebook, watch the rest of The Tudors and jam as many chocolate chip cookies and pretzels into my face as I can.

It sounds innocuous, I mean who doesn’t want to do that sometimes?

The problem is, lately that’s all I want to do, washed down with half a bottle of wine.  I don’t want to be present, I don’t want to be productive, I don’t want a spiritual life, I don’t want anything but to zone out.

That’s fine for a a couple days, maybe even a week.  More than that it becomes a serious problem.  And that’s what I’m sitting with.  Depression/anxiety are factors, of course.  I’m under the care of professionals for those issues.  I know what those things feel like and they’re there in the background, tugging at me.

But what I’m really struggling with is burn out.

Read the rest at my PaganSquare Blog, Practical Magic

One Response

  1. Hey,
    I’m glad you’re getting a chance to have some rest.

    I’m sorry that you haven’t heard the voices of your gods in a long time.
    I can relate to the thing about the mental blanket, about wrapping your head in styrofoam so that you can’t hear anything. I’m half afraid of what I’d hear if I let myself start paying attention. (I always imagine it will be the sound of disapointment and “why are you such a screw-up” and similar, but I don’t think my gods would say that to me. They’re more along the lines of: “So. Here’s a thing that you should be doing. Go on, you know you want to…”)

    I think your suggestions about self-cleansing and also tidying up the living space are spot on. Not just because they get rid of some of the Overwhelm and (in some cases) leave you with a feeling of accomplishment, but because (maybe this is just me? When I’m hella-stressed I start purging?) a few hours spent moving my body and Putting Things Away means that I typially *stop* hampster-wheeling about All The Things… at least after a little while. And that kind of gives my brian a break as well.

    I’m glad you’re taking your spinning wheel out and spinning just for the joy of it. When I got tied up in knots with “What will sell? What will sell? Fuck my life…” I went back to writing fanfic for a couple of months because, as a non-saleable product, I could just write the fuck out of it rather than trying to divine where to find a paying market for the thing after the fact. Spinning for the joy of it is a wonderful idea. :-)
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